Too Sad for Words

Kimberlee & Camilia @Young Women's Camp 2009 

It is amazing how losing someone impacts people in so many different ways.  Yesterday, one of my Young Women was hit by a car (as a pedestrian) and about 5 hours later died because of significant internal injuries.  She was only 18.  The shock and the unexpectedness of it all really hit me hard; in some ways it is like losing a member of my family because these girls are all like my sisters (I'm too young to feel like their mother).  I have held it together pretty well and my sweet husband walked out in the middle of class to hold me while I cried.

I am just so sad and so numb right now.  I feel like a zombie,  but I am not hopeless.  Even though my heart aches for her family and for such a young life getting cut short, I still have hope and that is what is keeping me together right now.  I have hope because I know that I will get to see her again.  I know that she is with her Heavenly Father and she is surrounded by so much joy and love that we should be happy for her.  And I have hope because I know that I have a good man who will stand by my side and help me through this, even though he is hurting too.  (You can understand my hope better here.)

Some people have reacted to this with anger and blame.  Some with tears and depression.  And I think some people are still just trying to wrap their heads around the fact that Camilia is gone.  It's amazing that one person could touch so many lives so deeply.  I will really miss her.  We love you Camilia and look forward to seeing you again one day.