Me Time

I came across this draft while writing some other blog posts.  This is from January, 2013 so it's kind of old, but worth posting anyway, in case anyone else has felt or feels like this.

I think one of the biggest challenges that I am facing in my current state as a stay-at-home mom of a 16 month old is taking and using "me time".  It's not like there is no opportunity for me to take a breather and do something for myself.  I know that Trip loves taking Kaila on Saturdays for some quality Daddy-Daughter time.  I know that Grandy and Gramps, or Granny and Grandpa Sanders would be more than happy to spend some time watching and playing with their Bean.  I can even take advantage of her ridiculously early bedtime and spend an evening out or at home doing whatever I want to do.  The problem isn't so much that I have a child or need more help or support.  The problem is me.

Even when I know I am in need of a break, I have such a long list of things to do that I have a hard time not working on them.  And then, when I decide to take some time off I sometimes feel guilty or lazy for doing so.  Like I am not living up to my expectations.  I know this is ridiculous and self-imposed, but part of the problem stems from my inherent laziness.  In my past life (childless and unmarried) I was able to procrastinate, justify, and excuse my way out of anything like a pro.  Eventually, I learned to recognize this weakness (thanks to an outstanding Positive Psychology class, and a husband who helps me to improve myself).  I have worked hard to overcome it, but the problem is finding a good balance.  I am so paranoid about falling back into old habits and ways that I don't feel like I can cut myself any slack.  But not taking time out for myself is also detrimental.  I have got to learn where to draw the line.  I have to start taking time out, just for myself, and not feel bad about it.  I have to figure this out so that my life can be better and even more fulfilling.  So that I can be an even better person.
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It's been 3 months since I first wrote all of that.  I am happy to say that I have found a much better balance since that time.  I also have stopped demanding so much of myself.  Some days are super productive, and some aren't.  It's just the way it goes.  Sometimes I still feel overwhelmed by the never ending "to-do" list, but I just take it an item at a time and I manage to stay afloat.  It does help that Kaila's naps have become predictable and stable again.  And that her bedtime and wake up times are also much more normal and stable now too :)

Vacuuming

Makaila is hit and miss when it comes to vacuuming.  She loves our Roomba, but is less enthusiastic about the regular vacuum.  The other day I pulled it out to use, and she kept telling me "no" every time I got close to it.  She kept grabbing my hand and taking me over to her toys to keep me "busy" so I couldn't use the vacuum.  Haha!  Such a smart and funny little girl!

Keeping Mom busy :)

Bean's words and signs

New Year

A new year and new financial situation.  After months (and years) of hard work, we have finally paid off all of our school loans and what little consumer debt that we had.  We are officially DEBT FREE!  We plan to keep it this way too.  Now on to building up our savings :)

A new year and new resolutions.  Thanks to Trip's bright idea, we are setting goals in quarters this year.  Hopefully, we will be able to stick to them all year this way :)  One of my goals was to workout at least 3 times a week for the next 3 months.  I am hoping to do more than that, but since I am renting DVD's from the library for this purpose I wasn't sure how available they would be.

This week was the first week that I started on my new goal, and man, what a workout!  I am so sore, and I thought that I was doing pretty good at staying in shape through running and Zumba.  I can tell that this is going to be fun and challenging :)

A new year and new work.  Trip is still working for Domo, but has gotten a new position within the company.  It is more inline with what he where he wants his career to go, so we are both happy about it.  

A Look at 2012

2012 has treated this Baker family well.  We have experienced a lot of "firsts" in our family this year.  Makaila grew from this...

...to this.

She went from crawling for the first time,

to taking her first steps.

Kaila ate solid food for the first time,

And said her first words.

Trip ran his first obstacle course race (see this post for more) and got to see two of his young men from Malaysia leave to serve missions, which was a first as well.

I also ran my first race ever (more can be seen here), and attended a mission reunion for the first time in 4 years.  We took Makaila camping at Lake Powell for the first time (more about this to come), and we stopped at Zions Canyon on our way home.

Dan was the first out of my brothers to get married, and that made Alyssa (whom we love!) our first Doxey sister-in-law!

Trip and I went river rafting on Provo River for the first time with Dan and Alyssa this summer (unfortunately we don't have any pictures, just fond memories).  Makaila turned 1!  

She went to the aquarium for the first time...

we went to a pumpkin patch.

 We took family pictures for the first...

January 2012

second (click here to see more)...

April 2012

and third time this year!

November 2012

We sent out our first Christmas cards as a family.

Makaila had her first Easter,

Valentine's Day,

St. Patrick's Day,

Fourth of July,

and Halloween.

Our first nieces were born!  

Bean experienced her first snow.

She will also get to see the lights at Temple Square for the first time this year.

This picture is from Scott Sanders

We have been truly blessed and are forever grateful for the unique experiences, gifts, and love that each and every one of our family members and friends brings into our lives.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!!

New Shoes

At the beginning of October, I finally decided to get Makaila some shoes.  She had been walking for a couple of months and like it or not, she was ready to walk around outside and in public places.  I wasn't sure how she would feel about shoes, since we could never keep them on her feet when she was an infant.  I took her shoe shopping and after trying on several pairs to find the right size, she found a pair that she loved!  I didn't have socks on her, but she didn't care.  Once those shoes went on, I couldn't get them off of her!  She even wore them to the checkout counter (the guy was afraid I was buying and empty box at first).

The next morning, the very first thing she did was pull her new shoes out of the box and ask me to put them on her.  Grandy was there and helped her put them on so I could take some pictures and a quick video.  Who would have thought that she would love her shoes so much?!

Busy Bean

One of Bean's favorite activities is emptying my bag to see what goodies I have 

I often tell people about how busy Makaila is.  Here is a glimpse at the truth of that statement :)

Running around with one of her birthday cards, which she found to be almost as exciting as the gifts they came with!

Kaila loves this shirt.  She loves carrying it and feeling how soft it is.

Always on the move!

Bean tackled me while trying to get the camera

She loves her books

Talking to dad on the phone