Me Time

I came across this draft while writing some other blog posts.  This is from January, 2013 so it's kind of old, but worth posting anyway, in case anyone else has felt or feels like this.

I think one of the biggest challenges that I am facing in my current state as a stay-at-home mom of a 16 month old is taking and using "me time".  It's not like there is no opportunity for me to take a breather and do something for myself.  I know that Trip loves taking Kaila on Saturdays for some quality Daddy-Daughter time.  I know that Grandy and Gramps, or Granny and Grandpa Sanders would be more than happy to spend some time watching and playing with their Bean.  I can even take advantage of her ridiculously early bedtime and spend an evening out or at home doing whatever I want to do.  The problem isn't so much that I have a child or need more help or support.  The problem is me.

Even when I know I am in need of a break, I have such a long list of things to do that I have a hard time not working on them.  And then, when I decide to take some time off I sometimes feel guilty or lazy for doing so.  Like I am not living up to my expectations.  I know this is ridiculous and self-imposed, but part of the problem stems from my inherent laziness.  In my past life (childless and unmarried) I was able to procrastinate, justify, and excuse my way out of anything like a pro.  Eventually, I learned to recognize this weakness (thanks to an outstanding Positive Psychology class, and a husband who helps me to improve myself).  I have worked hard to overcome it, but the problem is finding a good balance.  I am so paranoid about falling back into old habits and ways that I don't feel like I can cut myself any slack.  But not taking time out for myself is also detrimental.  I have got to learn where to draw the line.  I have to start taking time out, just for myself, and not feel bad about it.  I have to figure this out so that my life can be better and even more fulfilling.  So that I can be an even better person.
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It's been 3 months since I first wrote all of that.  I am happy to say that I have found a much better balance since that time.  I also have stopped demanding so much of myself.  Some days are super productive, and some aren't.  It's just the way it goes.  Sometimes I still feel overwhelmed by the never ending "to-do" list, but I just take it an item at a time and I manage to stay afloat.  It does help that Kaila's naps have become predictable and stable again.  And that her bedtime and wake up times are also much more normal and stable now too :)

Trip is famous!

Trip made his debut when he appeared on MSNBC with my dad a few years ago.  The irony of that still kills me.  For those who haven't seen these videos I have included them for your viewing pleasure. 

 

 

His acting skills are obviously in high demand since he was also asked to play a part in the new MBT promotional video.  I think people are drawn to the red hair and can't help but want it in their videos.  In this one, you can actually play "Where's Waldo" with Trip because he is in the background so much!


 
(Trip's part starts at 3:45 for those who don't want to watch the whole thing) 


Anyway, I was thrilled to find this on YouTube the other day so that I can now share it with all of you.  I am less than thrilled that I show up in the background, but not much I can do about it at this point.  Hope you enjoy watching some of these!

Guess Who Came to Our Campus??

Yep...this guy!

I never thought that I would ever see a former President of the United States in person.  I like to stay informed in politics, I definitely have an opinion, but I have never gone out of my way to be involved outside of voting.  However, when you are asked to be part of the planning committee to prepare for Laureate's Honorary Chancellor's visit, and that person also happens to be a former US President, you can't help but get excited.

President Bill Clinton came to INTI yesterday, and spent a couple of hours speaking to a select group of students, guests, and staff.  We have spent the last month preparing for his visit and the last two weeks have been a nightmare at work.  I must admit that I am glad it is over.  I was not a huge fan of Clinton in the past, but I did find his speech rather interesting.  The things he had to say were good, and it was kind of nice knowing that he wasn't speaking to win your vote.  I was kind of distracted since I was part of the ushering team and things were happening during his speech, but what I heard was good.  Trip had a great seat...he managed to sit in the second row!  I, on the other hand, ended up in the very back.  Dad got to sit right next to him and of course got his picture taken with Pres Clinton.  We weren't allowed to take any pictures, so I don't have any of my own...oh well.  There are plenty on the internet  :)

Overall, it was a great event, and I am glad it is now over and I can catch up on housework, sleep and other obligations that have been neglected.

IBM Career Day

Previously, I had posted about our Business Leadership Series at INTI.  That has been a project that I find very satisfying and yet somewhat exhausting.  This last week we held an event that was a mix between a Business Leadership Series event (see this website for more info) and a career fair.  It was called IBM Career Day.


We had IBM's HR department come to INTI and spend the day doing career talks for different fields, mock interviews, and administer a pre-employment exam.  We had a great turn out and overall it was a success, especially for being the first event of it's kind, but man, it sure took a lot of my energy!  I was again asked to help manage this event, and while I did not do all the work, I did end up being the one who everyone went to when there was a problem.  The whole week leading up to this event I was working overtime to get things ready.  Thursday was the event and I was so busy that day, I barely managed to take 20 minutes for lunch.  I was so wiped out that I took Friday off, which was good because my feet were still sore and my shoulders were still tense.


I was really proud of this event and how well things went, but I am definitely feeling the effects of working so hard...Trip and I are just getting old I guess.  Anyway, this isn't a very interesting post, but it does give you an idea of what I have been doing this week and why I haven't posted recently.  Trip has also been super busy since school is in it's final month.  He has work projects that are moving forward, school projects that will be due soon, and he is keeping busy with the Young Men in church.  He is constantly sprinting to keep up with everything and will appreciate the Christmas break when it comes!  We will post more when we have had a moment to catch our breath.

Playing Catch Up

We have been pretty busy the last couple of months.  Here are some of the things we have been up to...

Jack has been helping us wake up, and Trip grew a beard

We have been working hard at INTI

Tigger reminds us not to work too hard

We puppy sat Chi, who might be the cutest little puppy ever

  

I love the look she is giving Trip

We had our hands full with 2 dogs and a cat

We got to play with this little guy!

 The best part of our summer was when the family came out and after all the teasers I have been giving, it's about time I got around to posting about it!  So, coming up next is our month of fun with everyone out here!

Business Leadership Series

Here at INTI we are working hard to make education better and more meaningful.  Since I work for the Senior Vice President of Employer Relations, I am involved in a lot of really interesting projects.  One of these is called the Business Leadership Series.  This is a rather large event that we put on once a month to bring "employers and industry into the classroom" to talk to students about things they are looking for, things they wish they knew when they were in college, and all that jazz.

Today was our 3rd event and I must say that it was pretty successful.  Sure there were some glitches, and there is certainly more that can be done to improve, but overall it was a success.


I am pretty proud about this because it is a project that I manage and maintain.  It isn't easy, it is often frustrating, and at the end of the event I am so wiped out that I would come into work late the next day (if I could manage my transportation).  This event was especially stressful since the speaker was the CEO of Laureate...the big boss for all of us.  He was only able to come today, and the majority of the students are on semester break.  The academics told us we would be lucky to get 200 students to come, and we needed at least that to fill the hall.


Needless to say, it has taken a lot of effort to get everyone on board and to pull this off.  In the end, we had 648 students who attended; enough to overflow our overflow room!!  Makes me want to say 'I told you so' to all those non-believers and pessimists...hahaha. 


I love it when a plan comes together  :)

It's like something you'd read in The Reader's Digest!

There was a profound statement that I heard today...it goes something like this:

"We will not change anything unless we change it."

I thought this was funny at first, but perhaps there is some hidden meaning in there?
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Anyone else hear any good ones lately?

May in a Nutshell

Well dear family and friends, this last month was hectic for both of us and anything that was not absolutely necessary got neglected.  This last month we both were working long hours because of Trip's new teaching schedule and my new commute.  Most days we got home, ate dinner and then went straight to bed because it was 10:30pm.  


Unfortunately, weekends were just as busy.  The first weekend was my Dad's birthday and we spent Saturday celebrating with him.  Trip and I worked the next Saturday helping with a preview for the Master's program (MBT) and the next third Saturday of the month I worked again at a Post-grad Fair while Trip spent the day studying and catching up on homework.  It should be pretty apparent by now that any spare time we had was spent in catching up on sleep!


This last weekend was Youth Conference, which is where all the youth from the West Malaysia area get together and participate in classes, dances, and fun activities.  We had a blast!  Even though it wasn't restful, we still enjoyed ourselves.  We went kayaking, rode a zipline (which is called Flying Fox here), and were DJ's for the dance.  I will post pictures soon.


Now, the family is all out here and we will have a lot more to write about!

A Little Irony

Recently my blogging habits have been impeded by slow internet and the fact that for some inexplicable reason, the office IT department decided to make Blogger inaccessible.  (It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that it is a distraction, could it?)  Anyway, I will upload more Thailand pictures this weekend with all the spare time that I am sure to have between youth activities, Mother's Day phone calls with 2 moms and a brother on a mission, and belated birthday celebrations.  Yeah, there is a lot to catch up on.  For now, I have had something on my mind that I just couldn't resist writing about, and that something is toilet paper.  Yes, that is correct, I said toilet paper.

In January a new Postgraduate Center was opened up to students and staff on the campus where Trip is going to class.  I was given a desk there and worked from the newest, hottest office at INTI for 4 months.  The look and quality of the center is indescribably better than the rest of campus so I was pretty happy about sitting there.  Perhaps the biggest perk was the fact that we also got to use the newest, cleanest, and now nicest bathrooms on campus (we are talking nice 4-star hotel bathrooms vs yucky public bathrooms at a train station).  The only problem was that the toilet paper had not been installed yet, but that wasn't such a big deal, I thought, because they would install it soon.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months.  Still no toilet paper.  Surely, a mistake had been made.  I talked to my boss and he too was puzzled.  After asking some questions we discovered that there were some objections to putting toilet paper in the bathroom and thus it had not been done.  'What kind of objection could possibly make sense?', you may ask.  Well, let me enlighten you.  Apparently, certain INTI staff feel that we cannot afford to provide toilet paper because, and I quote "when we have put toilet paper in the bathrooms in the past, the students stole it".  Is it really that big of a commodity that students must resort to stealing it?!  Is toilet paper really that expensive that we can't afford to lose a few rolls?!

Well, after this was made known to some key people, the problem was rectified and we were able to find a solution that met everyone's expectations...toilet paper in the stalls in locked dispensers.  After nearly 4 months of waiting, hassling, and reminding, I finally got toilet paper in the stalls!  For one glorious week I got to enjoy using a bathroom with all the amenities.  Then I got transferred to the new corporate offices on the campus that dad works on.  I have been pretty lucky since each time I move offices I upgrade a little; I really like my new office and I now have a nearly private bathroom that I share with one other personal assistant.


The only thing is...there is no toilet paper in our new bathroom!


Now that's what you call ironic.

Blah

There is so much to catch up on.  Need to upload pictures from our trip for one thing.  But after spending the last 10 hours in the office, on the computer, I just can't bear the idea of doing anything else "computer" related.  I think Trip feels my pain.  He is still working on home work and studying.  Finals are right around the corner.

We will post exciting stuff later.

The Routine of Life

Not much has happened in our lives lately.  You would think that living in Malaysia, we would constantly be having jungle adventures and new experiences.  This is not the case.  We have fallen into a routine and the new and exciting is requiring more effort on our part.  It is easy to become complacent when you work/ go to school most of the day.  Both Trip and I leave the house about 8:15 every morning and we get home between 6 - 6:30 every night.  The days are long and the evenings are over all too soon thanks to homework and housework.  

Even though our lives sound pretty boring right now, we both enjoy the fact that we work together.  We also have been loving the presence of Jack and Tigger.  Mr. B hit the nail on the head when he said the pets would force Trip to relax.  Jack and Trip have a little walking routine now and Tigger just loves sitting out on the balcony and watching the birds.  We were a little worried that she might try something stupid like walking on the ledge (we live on the 9th floor) but she has been really good.  Despite the long hours of studying he is putting in, Trip is loving school.  He gets all excited about what he is working on and loves talking to me about it, even though I get lost pretty quick.  It is nice to see him doing something he is so passionate about.  

I am being kept on my toes between my church responsibilities, work, and keeping our apartment clean and everyone fed.  By the time 10:30pm rolls around, I can usually be found passed out in our bedroom.  While it is good that I have so much to keep me busy, I am looking forward with anticipation to the Chinese New Year holiday.  Hopefully, we will have pictures and more ethnic stories after that.

Change is Hard

Lately it seems as though I have been learning that the advice we are often given in regards to relationships holds true in more ways than I originally thought.  I am sure many of us have heard that "you can't make someone change" or "he/ she won't change just because you want them to" or something very similar.  I believe this statement and have tried to apply this 'rule' to my relationships with family and friends.  For awhile I had thought that people merely needed to desire a change in order for it to happen.  I have since realized that in order for someone to make changes in their behavior, they must also be the one to decide to change.  Well, I have now found that this relationship rule has another layer of complexity.

Recently, I was able to observe someone who decided they wanted to change something at work.  They asked for advice on how to make this change possible.  The 'adviser' took their job seriously and spent hours of time that they did not have, sacrificing sleep, study time, and personal time to go above and beyond and do this person a 'favor'.  However, when the time came to give recommendations and share their advice, the 'advisee' turned out to be immovable and borderline hostile, as if the very idea of change was ludicrous.  (Not an exaggeration...I was present for this unfortunate event.)  Why would they react this way?!  I was utterly baffled.  I knew how sincerely the person had been about instituting change and yet they were so resistant when asked to commit to it.  I was caught completely off guard by this reaction.  If you desire to change and you have decided to change, why not make the change?  

It was in pondering this question that I came to a realization.  I too have set goals to change and yet in some instances I have resisted change very adamantly.  It certainly seems irrational and doesn't make sense now, but at the time it must have made sense to me.  And herein lies the lesson that I was being taught:  Desiring and deciding to change are not the only steps that must be taken in order for change to be successful.  I have desired many things and decided that I would have them, yet I still have not followed through on my decisions.  No, making the decision is just an intermediate step between desiring change and committing to the process of change.  Without being committed to our decision to change we will ultimately talk ourselves out of it when it gets difficult, which it inevitably will.  

We cannot force change upon others because they must be the ones to commit to the long and painful process that is 'change'.  If we are not committed we will not push through the resistance and barriers that stand in our way.  In these cases, the 'easy' path becomes the more enticing option and we abandon any change that can lead to self-improvement, telling ourselves it is "too hard" or "not worth the effort" so that we feel happy about justifying our failures.  This may sound dramatic and you may tell yourself you don't do this, but the reality is that we all do it to some extent or another.  

Change at any level is only possible when we commit ourselves to the outcome...when we talk ourselves in to change instead of out of it.  True, this is easier said than done.  Change is still hard.  But I would much rather feel the pain of change to improve myself and be happier than to stay the same and become blind to these opportunities. 

Missionaries and Mishaps

These last two weeks have been so busy and full of stuff to blog about that it will take more than one blog post to catch up.  A couple of weeks ago we had the chance to talk to Mike and Annie at their wedding in Jersey, which was pretty cool.  It sounds like the wedding was really nice and everyone seemed to have a good time.  We wished we could be there, but we are just too far away to be able to visit very often.  Congratulations again, Mike and Annie!


That weekend we also had our first formal MBT (Master's in Business Information Technology) preview.  For those who are unaware, the MBT is the new Master's program that Trip and I are working to help launch and that is the degree that Trip will be getting. 

Anyway, we held it in a conference room at a nice hotel and there was food and some of the MBT team did presentations and then we broke up and spoke to potential students personally.  It was on a Saturday, which was lame but it was good to start getting the word out and get some students recruited.

We also had the missionaries over for dinner that week.  We had the Elders over on Sunday and they were regaled with stories about the army by Trip.  It was a good time.  On the drive back to their apartment, we saw a cow crossing the road (which has never happened before or since, and we are on that road daily!).  It was funny because the cow was just lazily walking across the street and the cars were all completely stopped but somehow the cow walked into a car!  It bumped the headlight of a car and jumped and ran off...haha...silly cow.  On Tuesday, we had the Sister missionaries over for dinner.  That night was interesting because first we accidentally lit a pot on fire while making curry (and everyone knows that those things don't normally happen in Trip's kitchen 'cause he is pretty careful) which filled the house with smoke.  Once we got that cleared out everything was fine and we made it through dinner and dessert before a light exploded in the hallway which tripped the breaker and plunged us into darkness all at the same time.  It was pretty crazy!  We figured at that point that we better take the Sisters home before anything else went wrong.  I am happy to report that despite the mishaps, they had a good time and are willing to come back.


While I am on the topic of missionaries I should mention that Dan also left the MTC for the New York, New York South mission that week.  Unfortunately, we were not expecting his call and we missed him.  He tried leaving us a message but we couldn't understand much of it.  That bummed me out but we will be able to talk to him for Christmas which is approaching fast, so I can look forward to that.

A Double Jointed Acrobatic Ninja Kind of Day

So today was a pretty busy and fulfilling day. I briefed the Inti marketing staff about the new MBT program and why it is going to be awesome. We ran through a bunch of information regarding how the program is different from MIS or MBIT programs. We talked about the power of modeling and why non-techies love it. And, I got to quote G.I. Joe and reference ninjas and monkeys, all while wearing a tie. All in all, it was amazing.

What was even cooler was having Kim in the audience. So, for those who are new to the show, Kim is Oma's assistant. Oma is the VP who is sponsoring the MBT program's creation. That makes Kim kinda like the Pepper Potts of Inti, at least I think so. Anyways, Kim was there to take minutes and report back any discussion or questions which Oma would need to be aware of.

This wasn't the first time that Kim has gotten to see me in action. I have taught a bunch of Sunday school classes and have spoken in Church on multiple occasions with her. However, I have to admit, having Kim in the room while I was tearing through a bunch of Power Point slides talking about Business Modeling was pretty freakin' sweet. Don't ask me why, but it was.

I have heard of people working with their spouses and having horror stories to tell, but I don't see that in the cards with Kim and me. She is doing a great job and I am loving having her around. What's more is that is that I am really enjoying this possibly once in a lifetime chance to share some of my working life with her. Time-wise, work is such a big part of my life, and in most cases she normally gets a glimpse of it through my boring, contextually lacking stories of co-workers and the day's events.

What's even more awesome is that we are making a great team, which is not surprising, to me at least. Kim and I don't have a perfect marriage, but it's pretty darn close. Two things that we are really good at is communicating and watching out for each other; or as I like to call it, "covering each others six." In business, just as in marriage, the ability to communicate effectively and cover each others blind spots is so critical. I think that is why we have been so effective these past few weeks.

Either way, this is an experience that may, unfortunately, be a one time thing. And, I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

Oh The Freshness

First I want to thank Kim for getting this set-up. As she said this is something that has been on our minds for a while and she got it done without her geek husband. So much for my expensive Computer Science degree, right?

Today is my second day actually working (HR stuff was basically the entire last week) and I have been slowly grabbing hold of more and more responsibility. It is quite a difference from my past US based jobs, which seem to enjoy attempting to drown me in stuff to do before the ink on the HR paperwork has even dried. Thankfully, I have prior entrepreneurial experience and they started a new class on IT Entrepreneurship, the instructor for which is in uncharted waters. So, I get to help chart the waters. I actually just finished up crafting the term long group project. Exciting!

My coworkers have been really nice and I seem to go out to lunch with a new group everyday. I was talking about my academic experience today to a group of instructors and they about feinted when I told them how many hours a week I was in class at Neumont. From what the other instructors were telling me, the students here whine a lot if you give them too much homework, or if they feel it is too hard. I told them that if I get to be a full blown lecturer (not just an assistant) that my students are probably going to hate me, because I won't be as sympathetic. Thankfully for the Inti students, I am not sure that being a full fledged lecturer is in the cards for me any time soon. Oh well...